How does it feel to have a veiled wife?
Much like a woman who has taken on the role of a wife, she will feel envy if her partner behaves flirtatiously or gazes at other women. Similarly, the husband also wishes the same for his spouse. They desire their wives to refrain from looking at or being looked at by other men.
When the wife is covered, the husband often feels more at ease because she can shield herself from the male gaze; she tends to prefer staying at home unless absolutely necessary, allowing her to maintain boundaries in interactions with non-mahrams.
Nevertheless, there are aspects that the husband must understand when he has a veiled wife; thus, the husband should be conscious of this.
Firstly. She is not a divine being adorned with countless virtues.
Secondly. She is simply an average woman who possesses numerous flaws, just like us and all other mortals.
Third. Her choice to don the veil is not a sign of being the most devout, the most flawless, or the most learned in matters of faith, but a means to safeguard herself from temptation and non-mahram gazes, as well as to uphold her identity as a Muslimah.
Fourthly. It is perfectly natural for her to be covered yet still perhaps moody, pampered, seeking attention, envious, temperamental, lacking culinary skills, playful, desiring comprehension without needing explanation, or exhibiting behaviors that might be viewed as unbecoming for a veiled woman.
Fifth. Her emotions are susceptible to being hurt if we, as husbands, display arrogance, rudeness, or harshness through our actions, words, or writings.
Sixth. She desires to be regarded similarly to all women. To be charmed, complimented, surprised, assisted, indulged, safeguarded, included in conversations, communicated with kindly, and teased in good humor.
Seventh. Both partners have rights and responsibilities that need to be honored. If your wife falters, gently counsel her. She might be forgetting. Avoid hastily labeling her as disobedient, rebellious, dissenting, etc., and if she forgets repeatedly, exercise patience in your guidance. As long as no grave wrongdoing has taken place, be patient in your counsel.
Eighth. Be mindful of her emotions.
Rasulullah Sallallaahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam said, Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said,
اسْتَوْصُوا بِالنِّسَاءِ ، فَإِنَّ الْمَرْأَةَ خُلِقَتْ مِنْ ضِلَعٍ ، وَإِنَّ أَعْوَجَ شَىْءٍ فِى الضِّلَعِ أَعْلاَهُ ، فَإِنْ ذَهَبْتَ تُقِيمُهُ كَسَرْتَهُ ، وَإِنْ تَرَكْتَهُ لَمْ يَزَلْ أَعْوَجَ ، فَاسْتَوْصُوا بِالنِّسَاءِ
‘Do good to women. Because women are created from ribs. The name of the rib, the upper part of it is crooked. If you try to straighten it (roughly), you will break it. If you leave it alone, it remains crooked. Do good to women.’ (HR. Bukhari)
اِرْفَقْ بِالْقَوارِيْرِ
‘Be gentle to the glasses (meaning women).’ (HR. Bukhari)
What you treat is glass and bent ribs.
That’s a little picture if you have a veiled wife. More or less can happen depending on whether the husband and wife live in their respective households. And surely all men hope to get a dream wife and hopefully, the women out there can be a special wife.
